Reasons why People Become Addicted to Love
Abandonment Issues
Fear of abandonment is one of the main causes of love addiction. The feeling of loss that comes with the end of a serious relationship is extremely painful to most people. Healthy adults, however, should understand that loss is a normal part of life, and that things will get better with time. Love addicts, in contrast, are terrified of abandonment. They tend to rely on other people to make them feel happy, whole, and fulfilled. Without their object of affection and love, they feel incomplete and worthless. This is mainly due to the lack of nurturing and love from their primary caregivers during their formative years.
Childhood Trauma
People who have experienced some type of childhood trauma are often vulnerable to addictive tendencies. While some use substances such as drugs and alcohol to self--medicate painful emotions and memories, others use relationships to deal with their childhood trauma. The initial thrill of a new romance, along with the great feeling that they have finally found real love, provides them with a high that tends to relieve their painful memories, at least for a while.
Addictive Role Models
Some addicts are raised by parents who unconsciously teach them to rely on other people for their happiness. For example, a mother with a low sense of worth who goes from one man to another may inadvertently teach her child unhealthy love patterns. Each relationship is often characterized by extreme highs and lows, as well as fear of abandonment.
Although this condition may sound less harmful than other addictions, it shares several similarities. Some of the consequences of this type of addiction may include lost careers, broken marriages, child custody issues, as well as health problems such as STDs. In some cases, love addiction may lead to domestic violence, stalking, and homicide. As with other types of addiction, recovery can be challenging. However, it is possible to break the pattern and learn how to build genuinely loving relationships.
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